Since I was a little girl, I have always dreamed about spending a summer in New York working in fashion. Everyday I would lay out a wide range of outfit options on my canopy bed in my lavender room – always having enough options for 2 outfit changes per day.
Now, it’s the night before my very first day at my oh-so coveted New York internship at Fashion Snoops, a trend forecasting agency in midtown Manhattan, except there is just one problem: things are a little different than I expected. I’m still frantically picking out a range of outfit options for my first day, but instead of laying them down on a random bed in some tiny Airbnb in a not-so-great New York neighborhood, I’m laying in my bed in Dallas, Texas imagining potential outfits I could wear on tomorrow’s first zoom call… if only I had taken the time to unpack from moving out of my college sorority house.
On one hand, I am proud of myself and over-the-moon excited for landing this dream internship in freaking New York City like I have always wanted. On the other hand, I can’t help but feel a wave of sadness because something I have wanted so deeply since such a young age was ripped away from my fingertips when the world fell apart and into quarantine.
Of course there’s this part of me that understands I should consider myself lucky to have my internship transferred from in-house to remote since so many of my friends’ internships were cancelled. Not to mention there are much bigger things going on in the world right now: coronavirus, social injustice, unemployment and death.
But, this pandemic has helped me accept all of my emotions regardless of how opposing they are: for example, both my gratitude for what I have and grief for what could have been.
I was ready for my Devil Wears Prada moment – fetching coffee and running around New York City doing other intern things. I even planned on recreating the cheesy-rom-com-movie moment where I play Taylor Swift’s “Welcome to New York” as I drive into the city from the airport for the very first time. As strange as it is, I feel like I’ve let Carrie Bradshaw down.
Somehow, writing about this has helped me come to terms with the situation while also getting out some of the sadness I felt for not getting to realize a dream of mine to its fullest potential.
Anyways, I’m certain that this internship is going to be a great opportunity and experience for me, but I would love to hear about some of the things that have changed in your lives because of Coronavirus and how you are coping with it. Whether it is in the comments sections or my dm’s, reach out.
Wish me luck on my first day!